Monday, January 6, 2014

Star Wars: A Mouth Like An Intergalactic Princess—Cussing in a Galaxy Far, Far Away



14TH UPDATE: By cracked teeth and charred guts, Cussing in a Galaxy Far, Far Away is back with a vengeance, you nerf-brained pieces of bantha slime! Now with a whole new Ewokese section ... Katoog!

Thanks to everyone who has been filled my inbox with Star Wars profanity over the years. The list continues to grow, showing just how demented both Star Wars fans and authors can be. I'll continue to update with your contributions and with the curses I find, marking new entries with italics every update. Cheers!


One of my favorite fanish hobbies is keeping track of the curses used in the Star Wars universe. This diversion traces its roots to a healthy curiosity with real-life curse words. As I've mentioned before, I love language, and I believe my first conscious experience with the power of language came with the utterance of my first curse. When I was 3 or 4 years old, I took to emulating my older sisters' inclination for using certain "bad words," much to my parents' dismay, but to my great delight. Seeing the shocking reaction I would get from saying just one particular word was a power unlike, well, anything in the galaxy.

My sisters got the better of me, however, when they duped me into thinking the word "Tonka," the name of a popular line of toy trucks (and, coincidentally, also having the meaning "up" in Huttese), was the most vile slur known to man by calling each other Tonkas, then acting as if they were about to faint each time someone dropped the dreaded T-bomb. I eagerly replaced all the cuss words in my repertoire with this one. Growing up in a rougher neighborhood, though, I quickly learned what the real forbidden words were, especially since all of the kids on my block were significantly older than me.

In my college days, I wrote an editorial outlining the oft-ignored merits and pitfalls of this oh-so-human pastime, which still gets me e-mail, not all of it pleasant. While living in Italy, I also did extensive research with some lovely loose-lipped signorine and compiled a list of essential Italian curses, which I distributed to my grateful American friends. For years I've tried to do the same thing with Star Wars.

In 1977, right off the bat, Star Wars: A New Hope introduced us to the first curse of the Galaxy Far, Far Away... "Blast!" Though Princess Leia teased us with witty quips like, "Can someone get this walking carpet out of my way?" it wasn't until the first Star Wars spin-off novel in 1978, Alan Dean Foster's Splinter of the Mind's Eye, that we were introduced to another legitimate curse straight from the princess's pristine lips (perhaps channeling Carrie Fisher): "Stang!" A Guide to the Star Wars Universe tells us that this is a curse Alderaanian in origin, and one finds himself wondering what other creative expressions that planet's pacifistic culture has engendered.

Of course, it was all downhill (properly speaking) from there.

With her classic line "You stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-looking nerf-herder!" in The Empire Strikes Back, the Princess completely throws caution to the wind, but she isn't the only guilty party. The years since 1978 have seen the creation of a number of curses, exclamations, and general profanity by the many authors contributing to the Star Wars mythos. From Timothy Zahn (The Thrawn Trilogy, Hand of Thrawn) to Michael Stackpole (X-Wing series, New Jedi Order: Dark Tide), from Jude Watson (Jedi Apprentice, Jedi Quest) to Karen Traviss (Republic Commando: Hard Contact), John Ostrander (Republic comic series) to Sean Stewart (Yoda: Dark Rendezvous) and a bunch more. Some of them are funny, some of them are cheesy, some are cool, some are awful, and some are unpronounceable.

This is by no means a comprehensive compilation of Star Wars curse words, but it aims to be. In the meantime, here's a few terms and phrases to get interested parties started. If anyone has any curses (Star Wars only, please) they'd like to add to this list, just e-mail me at abelgpena@gmail.com with the vulgar expression in question, its usage (interjection, insult, etc.), and the title of the source, and I'll update it regularly!

Without further delay, I present the cuss words of the Star Wars galaxy! ~ Abel G. Peña


BASIC PROFANITY:

Aiwha-bait - An insult, usually directed at members of the Kaminoan species (Republic Commando: Triple Zero).

Backrocket - A derogatory modifier used to insinuate a subject is of an order significantly inferior to the norm or ideal, for instance, "His superiors had seen fit to shunt him to this backrocket planet in the hind end of nowhere" (Medstar: Battle Surgeons).

Bad-batcher - An insult referring to a physically (and possibly also psychologically) defective clone ("Clone Cadets").

Bantha - A large, slow-moving hairy quadruped; an insult connoting the characteristics of such a creature, as in, "You brainless, lice-ridden bantha" (Knights of the Old Republic).

Bantha Brain - An insult indicating one has the intelligence of the slow-moving Bantha ("Goatgrass: The Tale of Ree-Yees," Tales From Jabba's Palace). See also blaster-brained, brainbolted, and void-brain.

Bantha Fodder! - An exclamation. The word "fodder," meaning food for livestock, has likely been contaminated in this instance by the double-meaning of the Huttese word Poodoo (New Jedi Order: Star by Star, Return of the Jedi).

Bantha Sweat - A colorful description used to demean something, as in "That planet is a ball of bantha sweat" (Darth Bane: Path of Destruction).

Barve - A six-legged animal with a reputation for being unclean, raised for its meat; an insult, insinuating the filthiness of said creature. Also, barve-face and son of a barve. ("A Barve Like That: The Tale of Boba Fett," Tales From Jabba's Palace; Legacy Vol. 2: Shards, Boba Fett: A Practical Man).

Barvy - A variation on the above, it insinuates an individual is acting erratically, as in, "Are you barvy? You can't take on the whole Empire yourself!" The equivalent of being "barmy" (Legacy of the Force: Invincible, Fate of the Jedi: Abyss).

Bastasi - An Ansionian oath (The Approaching Storm).

Battlecan - A somewhat disparaging term used in reference to canny and/or aggressive veterans of the military (Legacy of the Force: Tempest).

Blast! - An adaptable expletive, the equivalent of "shoot!" or "damn!" (A New Hope).

Blaster Bolts! - An interjection (Young Jedi Knights series).

Blaster-brained - A derogatory description implying dim-wittedness (Wretched Hives of Scum and Villainy). See also Bantha-brain, brainbolted, and void-brain.

Bloah - An interjection, used independently and as part of longer exclamations, such as "What the Bloah?" (Tatooine Ghost, Dark Nest: The Joiner King).

Bludfly - An insult referring to a form of insect ("Lando's Commandoes: On Eagles' Wings," Tales #5).

Bomarr cast-off - An insult insinuating that an individual is rejected by the Bantha-worshipping Bomarr religious order, or simply a kind of outcast (Knights of the Old Republic).

Borked - An adaptable expletive; see Farkled and the other "F" WORDS (Galaxies).

Brainbolted - A derogatory modifier suggesting a tendency toward unthinking or robotic behavior (see boltbrain), as in, "I'm a Jedi Knight, not some brainbolted soldier"; (Legacy of the Force: Inferno). See also Bantha-brain, blaster-brained, and void-brain.

Braintick - An insult, likely referring to a kind of arachnid that attaches itself to an individual's brain (Legacy of the Force: Tempest).

Broggle - An unspecified act, often used to denote surprise, as in "I'll be broggled" (Outbound Flight).

Buckethead - A derogatory term for Mandalorians and likely other helmet-wearing soldiers (Legacy of the Force: Invincible).

Bugger - A derogatory term used to refer to Geonosians and possibly other insectile species; also buggies (Clone Wars: Weapons Factory, Legacy of the Force: Invincible).

Bug-lover - A low-level insult often directed toward children (Ewoks: The Battle for Endor).

Bumblefluff - The equivalent of "nonsense" (Luke Skywalker and the Shadows of Mindor).

Byss' Blind Eye! - An exclamation of the one-eyed Abyssin, it refers to their homeworld, rather than the Deep Core planet by the same name ("Ghost," Tales Vol. 3).

Can of corrosion - An insult (Dark Nest: The Joiner King).

Cantina rat - An insult directed toward bar loungers (Knights of the Old Republic).

Carbon flush! - An exclamation (Emissary of the Void).

Chitin-brain - An insult directed toward races with a chitinous exterior (Luke Skywalker and the Shadows of Mindor).

Chuff-sucking Leech - An insult, likely referring to the habit of some species of annelid. Jabba was referred to as a chuff-sucking leech for his appearance, his moral character, or both. ("Goatgrass: The Tale of Ree-Yees," Tales From Jabba's Palace).

Core-slime - An insult directed toward inhabitants of the Core Worlds (Knights of the Old Republic).

Crimey - An oath, possibly of Bith origin (Legacy of the Force: Tempest).

Crink - An adaptable expletive, as in, "Go crink yourself, crinking Imperial" (Allegiance).

Cute as a Gamorrean's sister - An insult that derives its impact from sarcasm, as the general population does not view the porcine Gamorrean race as particularly attractive (Knights of the Old Republic).

Dag - An exclamation (Boba Fett: Twin Engines of Destruction).

Dark Side Take You - A curse (Wretched Hives of Scum and Villainy).

Demon of darkness - A curse (Queen of Empire).

Dinos of Dellalt - An exclamation (The Despotica: Evocar).

Doellin's Triple Teats! - A Gran exclamation, referring to the species' doe-like goddess ("Goatgrass: The Tale of Ree-Yees," Tales From Jabba's Palace).

Double-spawner - An Ishi Tib insult for an unfaithful spouse or lover; a two-timer (Dark Nest: The Joiner King).

Druk - An obscenity used in conjunction with other words for emphasis, as in "A drukload of stormtroopers" (Star Wars Tales Vol. 4, "Kessel Run").

Dubesor - An insult on Antipose XII (Lando Calrissian and the Flamewind of Oseon).

Dung beetle - An insult referring to a kind of insect native to Neimodia (Starfighter: Crossbones #1)

Dungcreeper - An insult, referring to a vile creature (Jedi Quest: The Final Showdown). See lylek-dung grubber.

Dungpit - An insult signifying a place, possibly referring specifically to a method of waste disposal of Barabel origin, as in, "Now you have dragged us all into the dungpit!" (Legacy of the Force: Invincible).

Durned - A derogatory modifier (Republic #62: No Man's Land).

Dwarfnut - Neimoidian for a fool (Galactic Phrase Book & Travel Guide).

Dyeesh - An interjection (Rookies: Rendezvous).

Emperor's Black Bones! - An exclamation (X-Wing novels).

Emperor's Black Heart - A derogatory modifier (I, Jedi), as in, "What in the Emperor's Black Heart...?"

Fangface - An insulting nickname for members of the buck-toothed Aqualish race (Dark Nest: The Joiner King). See also Hammerhead, Prune Face, and Slanthead.

Flyboy - A potentially disparaging synonym for a male pilot, depending on context, as in, "Into the garbage chute, flyboy!" (A New Hope). See also star-boy.

For galaxy's sake - An exclamation (Jedi Quest: The Moment of Truth).

Force-forsaken - A derogatory modifier (Legacy of the Force: Sacrifice).

Freeze in the Ninth Circle of Damnation - A pejorative request, likely referring to the last of the Nine Corellian Hells ("Skin Deep: The Fat Dancer's Tale," Tales From Jabba's Palace). See also Rot in Boboqueequee, Rot in Qasak, and To the Hells....

Frizzle - The verbal form of Frizz, it denotes an act of betrayal, as in "You frizzled me!"; to screw-over (Outbound Flight).

Full-feathered - A derogatory modifier, as in "I look like a full-feathered idiot." (Jedi Quest: Changing of the Guard).

Fuse my bus-bars - An exclamation (Luke Skywalker and the Shadows of Mindor).

Gamorrean pig-man - A childishly redundant insult that relies on the general population's low opinion of the porcine Gamorrean race (Knights of the Old Republic).

Garp - An oath, as in, "They're pounding the wheezing garp out of us!" (Luke Skywalker and the Shadows of Mindor).

Gfersh - An adaptable expletive, likely Rodian in origin, as in "What the gfersh is this?" (Galaxy Guide 11: Criminal Organizations).

Give a mott's backside - An impolite expression, meaning not to care, as in, "I don't give a mott's backside about clones" (Republic Commando: Triple Zero, Legacy of the Force: Revelation).

Glurd - An oath, as in, "Hot staggering glurd!" (Luke Skywalker and the Shadows of Mindor).

Good Galaxies! - An exclamation; also Great Galaxies (Star Comics: Droids #3, Star Comics: Ewoks #10). See also Stars!

Good Gordy - An exclamation (Boba Fett: Enemy of the Empire).

Good novas! - An exclamation (Rookies: Rendezvous).

Gorple zo-zo - An offensive alien curse (The Pirates of Tarnoonga: A Droid Adventure).

Gravel maggot - An insult, referring to a species of worm that feeds on rotting flesh indigenous to the hills and rocky badlands of Tatooine. Sometimes the insult "chuff-sucking gravel maggot" is used, which may be a reference to an actual subspecies or simply a corrupt variation on chuff-sucking leech (Galaxy Guide 7: Mos Eisley, A Guide to the Star Wars Universe, 1st Edition, Legacy Vol. 1: Broken).

Great balls of fire! - An exclamation (Jedi Trial). Note that this is an homage to rock 'n' roll artist Jerry Lee Lewis' song, "Great Balls of Fire."

Great Gobs of Bantha Poodoo! - An exclamation (The Phantom Menace novelization).

Great gods of the waters - An exclamation of Mon Calamari origin (Legacy of the Force: Revelation).

Great skies! - An exclamation of Ferroan origin (Rogue Planet).

Great waves - An exclamation, possibly Kaminoan in origin (Clone Wars: Act on Instinct).

Grist - An interjection, possibly of Feeorin origin (Starfighter: Crossbones #1).

Gug - An insult generally reserved for a broken-down shockboxer past his or her prime, as in, "Burn out yer mitts, ya gug." (Fists of Ion).

Gundark-face - An insult referring to the unattractive, long-eared species native to Vanqor (Rebel Force: Taget).

Haja - A curse (The Approaching Storm).

Hairless Wookiee - An insult that derives its impact from its juxtaposition of two incongruent concepts, i.e. members of the intimidating Wookiee race are generally quite hairy. This insult is sometimes used among humans in a somewhat playful manner (Knights of the Old Republic).

Hammerhead - An insulting nickname for members of the Ithorian race (A New Hope, Jedi Academy Trilogy: Dark Apprentice, Star Wars Sourcebook). See also Fangface and Prune Face.

Hang this - An expression of scorn or contempt, akin to "screw this," possibly suggesting "hang" as an adaptable expletive (Legacy of the Force: Revelation).

Holy beek-monkeys! - An exclamation (Star Wars #10, "Behemoth from the World Below").

Holy Irreducible Garbágina - An exclamation referring to a deity in the refuse-worshiping culture of the Ugors. Due to the amoebic Ugors' slobbering speech patterns, the phrase is frequently pronounced, "Holy Irrebducible Garbágina" (Dawn of Defiance: Echoes of the Jedi).

Holy Sith! - An interjection ("Pax Empirica," Galactic Battlegrounds: Prima's Official Strategy Guide).

Holy Womp Rats - An exclamation (Star Wars ongoing #27, "Starcrash").

Huttbag - An insult, generally directed at members of a non-Hutt species (Darth Vader and the Ghost Prison).

Huttwash! - An accusatory exclamation of disbelief; the equivalent of "hogwash" (Dark Nest: The Swarm War).

Hutt Slime - (also Huttslime) An oath, used in a variety of ways, from an exclamation to a general insult, as in, "Once you send the message, we both know our names will be Hutt slime." A particularly colorful smuggler's oath makes reference to Twi'lek huttslime wrestlers (New Jedi Order: Balance Point, Dark Nest: The Joiner King, Dark Nest: The Swarm War).

Hutt-spawn - An insult for a member of any species, save Hutt (Knights of the Old Republic).

In Alliance's cause - An exclamation used by members of the Rebel Alliance, as "In Alliance's cause, why'd you do that, old woman?" (Splinter of the Mind's Eye).

In the dwang - Also in deep dwang. A crude way of saying one is in trouble, as in, "You're going to be in the dwang when you get back to HQ, General" (Republic Commando: Triple Zero).

In the name of crushing black holes - An exclamation (Yoda: Dark Rendezvous).

In the name of the Force - An exclamation, often used as an interrogative, as in, "What in the name of the Force?" (Legacy of the Force: Sacrifice, Legacy of the Force: Revelation).

In the name of the Sith - An exclamation, often used as an interrogative, as in, "What in the name of the Sith?" ("In Triplicate," Star Wars U.K. #3)

Jactna! - An interjection, possibly of Rodian origin (Star Wars Tales Vol. 2).

Jango's Bones - An exclamation used among Republic clone troopers, referring to their deceased donor, bounty hunter Jango Fett (Reversal of Fortune).

Kanushka - A Kubaz exclamation (MedStar: Battle Surgeons).

Kark! - An adaptable expletive; also Kark on you! (Republic #66, Clone Wars Vol. 5 and Vol. 6).

Kath-mutt - An insult; see son-of-a-kath-hound (Darth Bane: Path of Destruction).

Kiss My Asteroid - A pejorative request ("Skreej," Tales Vol. 3).

Kiss My Wookiee - A pejorative request (The Courtship of Princess Leia). Note that this double entendre adds another layer to Leia and Han's exchange in the Empire Strikes Back. Leia: "I'd just as soon kiss a Wookiee"; Han: "I can arrange that."

Kleeg - An insult, as in, "You kleeg" (Allegiance).

Kork - An exclamation (Legacy of the Force: Fury).

Kriffing - A derogatory modifier (Vision of the Future).

Krong - An adaptable expletive, as in, "What if you krong up?" (Allegiance).

Ktah! - A rare Chiss curse (Force Heretic: Refugee).

Krazzsch - A Riilebi derogatory modifier ("Rendezvous With Destiny," Adventure Journal #6).

Kreetle - An insult, referring to a kind of parasitic insect from Tatooine (Dark Nest: The Joiner King).

Krink - An adaptable expletive, as in, "What the krink are you doing?" (Allegiance).

Krop! - An exclamation, possibly of Gotal origin (Legacy Vol. 1: Broken).

Laserbrain - An insult, as in "I don't know where you get your delusions from, laserbrain." (The Empire Strikes Back).

Loz noy jitat - A curse ("Medstar: Intermezzo," Star Wars Insider #83).

Lust-toad - An insult, perhaps referring to a real creature (Legacy of the Force: Inferno).

Lylek - An insult, comparing an individual to a vicious insectoid predator native to the planet Ryloth, known to eat its own kind when food is scarce. Also lylek-dung-grubber, perhaps referring to another unappealing eating habit of the creature (New Jedi Order: Star by Star, The Essential Guide to Planets and Moons, Legacy of the Force: Tempest). See dungcreeper.

Madclaw -- A derogatory term reserved for dishonored Wookiees who have used their climbing claws in an attack (Knights of the Old Republic).

Maker-forsaken -- A derogatory modifier, suggesting a person or thing has been deserted by its creator (MedStar: Battle Sugeons). See also Thank the Maker.

Mandalorian-loving -- A pejorative description for a supporter of the Mandalorian armies especially popular around the time they were a strong galactic faction, such as the Mandalorian Wars (Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords). See also MANDALORIAN MALEDICTIONS section below.

Manka spit -- A derogatory term comparing a thing to the salivary ejecta of the predatory manka feline of Alderaan, as in, "Your opinion isn't worth a bucket of manka spit" (The Cestus Deception).

Mattball - An insult directed toward fur-covered creatures, such as Ewoks; a furball (Dark Nest: The Joiner King).

Meat-can - A disparaging term used for a clone trooper (Republic Commando: Triple Zero). See also meat droid.

Meat droid - A disparaging term used for a clone trooper ("Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Praji"). See also meat-can.

Milking - A derogatory modifier, as in, "Big milking surprise" (Medstar: Battle Surgeons).

Minions of Xendor! - An exclamation (The Lando Calrissian Adventures). This also refers to the followers of the dark sider Xendor during the Jedi conflict known as the First Great Schism.

Misery-guts - An insult used to describe an overbearing and trying individual ("Omega Squad: Targets," Insider #81).

Monkey-lizard - An insult referring to a diminutive and annoying species of Kowakian beast (Dark Forces: Rebel Agent audio drama, Knights of the Old Republic). See also, Son of a monkey-lizard.

Mooka - An insult suggesting diminished intelligence; it refers to a kind of popular four-legged domesticated animal with avian features (Starfighter: Crossbones #1, The Lost City of the Jedi). See also smooka.

Moons and stars - An interjection. See also stars (Jedi Quest: The Final Showdown).

Moons of Baroli! - An exclamation (Reversal of Fortune).

Moons of Yavin! - An exclamation referring to the many satellites of the gas giant Yavin (Classic Star Wars: A Long Time Ago... Vol. 1).

Mradhe Muck - A curse, as in "What the blinkin' mradhe muck is going on here?" (Hand of Thrawn: Specter of the Past).

Mudcrutch - An insult referring to some form of lowly creature. Also mudcrutch whelp (Star Wars Republic #55-58: Battle of Jabiim, Darth Bane: Path of Destruction).

Munk-whelp - An insult, possibly of Ruusan origin (Darth Bane: Rule of Two).

Murglak - An insult (The Stark Hyperspace War). Most likely a species of foul creature; see Son of a Murglak.

Nek - An insult, comparing someone to a nek battle dog (Legacy of the Force: Fury).

Nerf - An insult referring to a well-known quadruped bred for its meat, it suggests an individual exudes a foul odor and/or has a low level of intelligence. Also nerf-head (Legacy of the Force: Inferno, The Despotica: Evocar). See nerf-brained.

Nerf-brained - A derogatory description deriving its force from comparison with the intelligence of said surly animal (Rebel Force: Target). See bantha brain and ronto-brained.

Nerfherder - A legitimate occupation on the planet Alderaan; an insult among Alderaanian nobility (The Empire Strikes Back). See Scruffy-looking.

Nikkle-nut - An insult, referring to a fruit of Haruun Kal origin, as in, "That nikkle-nut Jedi" (Shatterpoint, Luke Skywalker and the Shadows of Mindor).

Nova-happy - A derogatory description, insinuating a lack of good judgment; crazy (Marvel Comics #7). See Space-happy.

Noski - An insult, possibly of Besalisk origin, translating as "idiot" (Clone Wars: Wild Space).

Oink - A particularly heinous insult in the Gamorrean native tongue. On at least one occasion, its use set off a clan war (Galaxy Guide 9: Fragments From the Rim).

Piece of bantha slame - An insult (Rebel Force: Target).

Piece of chizk - A curse or insult, possibly of Besalisk origin (Clone Wars: Wild Space).

Piece of Dianoga Dung - A curse ("A Hunter's Fate: Greedo's Tale," Tales From the Mos Eisely Cantina).

Piece of rankweed - An insult (Star Wars: Clone Wars "The Hidden Enemy"). See also rankweed sucker.

Polluters of Z'gag - An exclamation, referring to a river on the planet Ruuria (The Despotica: Evocar).

Prugnuficating - An as yet unknown disgusting act or natural phenomenon; possibly some variation of defecating, putrifying, or both (Jabba the Hutt: The Art of the Deal).

Pruneface - An insulting nickname for members of the Dressellian race, possibly popularized by the Rebel SpecForce commando Orrimaarko who took this derogatory description as an alias (Return of the Jedi, Galaxy Guide 12: Aliens -- Enemies and Allies, Ultimate Alien Anthology). See Fangface, Hammerhead and Slanthead.

Purge-hole - A generic term for the terminus of the digestive tract in such species as possess them, often used to indicate one's posterior, as in, "Sit your purge-holes down now!" (The Despotica: Evocar).

Queen's eggs! - An exclamation of the insectile Flakax race (Dark Nest: The Swarm War).

Rankweed sucker - An insult, referring to the pre-processed form of rank, a food with a gummy texture, served in a bucket (Darth Maul: Shadow Hunter, MedStar I: Battle Surgeons, Yoda: Dark Rendezvous). See also piece of rankweed.

Ring-tail - The term is used to insinuate an individual is timid or cowardly, likely referring to some craven creature exhibiting a similar physical characteristic (The Despotica: Evocar).

Rockhead - An insult referring to a stubborn or stupid person; bull headed (Dark Nest: The Joiner King). See also ronto-brained.

Rodder - An adaptable expletive, used as an interjection and as an insult, as in "You stubborn rodder!" (Dark Nest: The Joiner King).

Ronto-brained - An insult derived from the perception that the mammoth ronto beast of burden is stubborn due its small brain (Jedi Quest: Changing of the Guard).

Root-heads - An insult among Ukians, referring to meddlesome or prying individuals (Clone Wars: Act on Instinct).

Rot in Boboqueequee! - A pejorative request, referring to some terrible place (Jabba the Hutt: The Art of the Deal).

Rot in Qasak - A pejorative request, referring to some terrible place (Dooku's Secret Army).

Ruskakk - A kind of scavenger native to the planet Haruun Kal; an insult, as in, "That old ruskakk" (Luke Skywalker and the Shadows of Mindor). See also, son of a ruskakk.

Saen - A Coway swear word involving parentage (Splinter of the Mind's Eye).

Sandbag - A slur directed at the diminutive, hooded Jawas of Tatooine, as in, "Whaddaya know, the l'il sandbag's got a gun!" Sometimes also dirtbag (Tales #4, "Sand Blasted").

Scampweasel - An insult, likely referring to a small breed of carnivore, as in, "You black-hearted scampweasel!" (Last of the Jedi: Secret Weapon).

Schutta - A Twi'leki insult, generally reserved for females (Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords). See also schutta-spawn.

Scrag-end - An insult (Republic Commando: Hard Contact). See also skrag.

Scruffy-looking - A derogatory modifier, as in "You low-down, stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-looking nerfherder!" (The Empire Strikes Back).

Sculag - An insult, as in, "It would be no challenge at all to deceive the witless sculags in your command" (Legacy of the Force: Inferno).

Sexless marsh-toad - An insult comparing an individual to a gender-neutral species of amphibian (Knights of the Old Republic).

Sha-nag! - A Chevin interjection (Fists of Ion).

Shavit - A curse (The Hand of Thrawn: Vision of the Future).

She-Hutt - An insult directed toward non-Hutt females relying on the Hutt race's widely-regarded ill repute for effect. The insult plays on the fact that Hutts are a hermaphroditic species (Legacy of the Force: Tempest).

Shee - A Haruun Kal curse (Shatterpoint). Note that this is an homage to The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

Shunfa - An exclamation, as in, "Oh shunfa!" (Allegiance).

Sith-loving - A derogatory modifier used by Repbulic soldiers during the ancient New Sith Wars, as in "Sith-loving scum" (Darth Bane: Path of Destruction).

Sith's blood! - An exclamation (Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords).

Sithspawn - An interjection (X-Wing: Rogue Squadron). Note that Sithspawn also refers to a specific kind of creature mutated by Sith magic.

Sithspit - An interjection (X-Wing: Rogue Squadron).

Skalworm - An insult, referring to some form of annelid, possibly Bothan in origin (Dark Nest: The Unseen Queen).

Skidcrust - The equivalent of "roadkill," the term may be used as an insult (Crash Course).

Skin a Pui-ui - An exclamation, referring to the cilia-covered indigenous sentients of Kyryll's World (The Despotica: Evocar).

Skloob - Urine or the act of urinating, as in "Technically, you haven't got a receptacle to skloob in" (Han Solo and the Lost Legacy).

Skrag - An Old Corellian curse (Adventure Journal #7).

Skrimp - An adaptable expletive, as in, "I'll be skrimped" ("Buyer's Market," Star Wars Insider #126).

Skroggin' - A derogatory modifier (Legacy Vol. 1: Broken).

Skug - An insult, likely Huttese in origin. It is used in the exclamation of surprise, "Vench my skug!" Skuggs in plural form (Tales #4, "Sand Blasted"'; Podracing Tales; The Clone Wars: Slaves of the Republic).

Skulls of Spinax - An exclamation (The Despotica: Evocar).

Skulo - An insult, possibly of Barabel origin (Legacy of the Force: Invincible).

Slag! - An interjection (Shadow Stalker).

Slagchucker - An insult (Wretched Hives of Scum and Villainy).

Slag-sucking - A deragatory modifier (Darth Bane: Rule of Two).

Slanthead - An insulting nickname for members of the Yuuzhan Vong race (Legacy Vol. 2: Shards). See also Fangface, Hammerhead, and Prune Face.

Slime dog - An insult, possibly specifying a species of canine (Honor and Duty).

Slugbrain - A generic insult (though possibly linked to the Hutts), as in "Why aren't we blowing this Imperial slugbrain out of the sky?" (Rebel Force: Target).

Slug-breath - An insult directed at Hutts (Republic Commando: Triple Zero).

Slug-lover - An insult directed toward any individual perceived to be in under a Hutt's employ or influence (The Despotica: Evocar).

Sluggy - An insult, as in, "You deaf, sluggy?" (Allegiance).

Smooka - An insult, referring to a class of winged rodent native to the planet Dagobah (Legacy of the Force: Inferno). See also mooka.

Snake of Argai - Used as both an insult and exclamation, it is possibly in reference to an actual serpent native to the planet Argai (The Despotica: Evocar).

Snarkin' - A derogatory modifier (Republic #59: Enemy Lines).

Snoigit - A Talz curse (Empire Vol. 5).

Space - An adaptable expletive, as in, "Space this!", "Space me!", and "What the space?" (Honor and Duty, Dark Nest: Unseen Queen, Dark Nest: The Swarm War, The Cestus Deception).

Spacejunk - A disparaging term indicating incredulity, such as, "You're going to help me? That's a load of spacejunk" (Last of the Jedi: Secret Weapon).

Space-happy - A derogatory description, insinuating a lack of good judgment; insane (Millennium Falcon novel). See Nova-happy.

Space-slug - An insult, referring to silicon-based gastropods that live in the vacuum of space (The Pirates of Tarnoonga: A Droid Adventure). See also spawn of space slug.

Spast! - An interjection (Jedi Knight II: Jedi Outcast).

Spirits of Cadomai - A Snivvian exclamation referring to the species' homeworld (Labor Pains).

Spoggick - An insult. It may refer to a small animal, possibly from Boboqueequee, as indicated by the phrase, "Rot in Boboqueequee, you scrunty prugnuficating spoggick!" It may also be an inanimate object, as suggested by the phrase, "Don't be such a wet spoggick!" (Jabba the Hutt: The Art of the Deal, Legacy Vol. 2: Shards). I'm indebted to Jean-Francois Boivin for bringing the first quotation here to my attention, as it is likely unparalleled.

Squark - An adaptable expletive, as in, "Squark that!" (Honor and Duty).

Stang! - An Alderaanian curse (Splinter of the Mind's Eye).

Star-boy - A potentially disparaging term used as a blanket label for any male individual, such as a Republic soldier, that spends a great deal of time in space or hopping from planet to planet (i.e. among the stars). (The Cestus Deception) See also flyboy.

Starforsaken - A derogatory modifier (Labyrinth of Evil).

Stars! - A common interjection. Variations include: Stars and Galaxies!, Stars and novas, Moons and stars!, By the stars!, and For star's sake! (Star Wars Annual #1, Honor and Duty, Jed Apprentice series, Secrets of the Jedi, Jedi Quest: Changing of the Guard).

Stars' End - A curse, referring to the penal colony located at one of the far ends of the galaxy in the Corporate Sector (Labyrinth of Evil).

Stick-in-the-swamp - An insult, referring to someone dull or who avoids trying new things; a stick-in-the-mud (Jedi Quest: The Changing of the Guard).

Stones in space - An exclamation, generally indicating surprise or disgust (Creatures of the Galaxy).

Suffering comets - An exclamation indicating surprise or frustration (Adventures in Hyperspace: Fire Ring Race).

Swamp rat - An insult, possibly referring to the swamp variety of womp rat from the planet Cularin or some other similar wetland rodent (Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan: Aurorient Express).

Sweet Gundark - An exclamation (Evasive Action: Recruitment).

Sweet Sookie - An exclamation (MedStar: Battle Surgeons).

Tail-head - A derogatory term used to indicate a Twi'lek (Star Wars: The Clone Wars, "Innocents of Ryloth"). See also wormhead.

Tarkin's Teeth - An Imperial exclamation, it refers to a mountain range on the planet Carida, and presumably the late Grand Moff Tarkin's himself or one of his ancestors (The Hand of Thrawn: Vision of the Future, "Carida: Heavy Duty, Part 3: War Games").

Thunderbucker - An insult, as in "If you're going after that huge crazy thunderbucker, I'm coming with you!" (Luke Skywalker and the Shadows of Mindor).

Tides of the Force - An exclamation (Reversal of Fortune).

Tinker-tot - A belittling insult or derogatory modifier, likely tailored for individuals of a mechanical disposition, such as ship engineers. Example: "Shuffle off, you tinker-tot wing nut..." (Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan: Aurorient Express).

To the Hells... - A curse, as in "To the Hells with you!" It likely refers to the Nine Hells of Corellian mythology, as in the similar curse, "To all Nine Corellian Hells." However, it may also refer to the eight Stalbringion hells (Clone Wars: Wild Space).

Tundin' - A derogatory modifier ("Galaxywide NewsNets," Adventure Journal #10).

Two-toed swamp-sucker - An insult, likely referring to an actual creature (Droids, "The White Witch").

Urpghurit - A particularly raunchy curse (Republic Commando: Triple Zero).

Vape - An adaptable expletive, as in "vape it!" and "vaping attack droids!" (Clone Wars: Wild Space).

Verre d'n Nocka! - A Kerestian curse (Secrets of the Sisar Run).

Verre! - A short version of the previous (Secrets of the Sisar Run).

Void-brain - An insult (X-Wing: The Bacta War). See also Bantha-brain, blaster-brained, and brainbolted.

Void-breahting - A derogatory modifier (Dark Nest: The Joiner King).

Vongspawn - An insult generaly directed at a being mutated by Yuuzhan Vong growths (Legacy Vol. 3). See also YUUZHAN VONG INVECTIVE section below.

Wampa-breath - An insult akin to suggesting someone suffers from halitosis ("In Triplicate," Star Wars U.K. #3).

When the Core goes dark! - An exclamation of disbelief (Dark Nest: The Joiner King).

Where in eight Stalbringion hells... - An exclamation, as in, "Where in eight Stalbringion hells did that come from?" (Luke Skywalker and the Shadows of Mindor).

Where in the moons... - An exclamation (Rookies: Rendezvous).

Wobber - Possibly an adaptable expletive, as in "You don't give a wobber!" (Darth Bane: Path of Destruction).

Wormhead - A common slur against members of the Twi'lek race and possibly other species sporting tentacular head growths, such as Nautolans, Togruta, and Chagrians (Twilight). See also head-tail.

Your brood-mother... - A phrase used by the insectile X'Ting as an introduction to a disparaging judgment about another individual's immediate female progenitor (The Cestus Deception). Note: this seems to be the Star Wars equivalent of playing the Dozens (a.k.a. 'Yo mama so [blank]....).

Zucca Pig - An insult, referring to a class of swine (Darth Bane: Path of Destruction).


THE "F" WORDS

Farkled - An adaptable expletive, as in, "You just got farkled" (Jabba the Hutt: The Art of the Deal; Tales #4, "Sand Blasted).

Feech - Ewokese equivalent for "darn!" (Caravan of Courage: The Ewok Adventure).

Feek! - A Jawese exclamation (Tales #4, "Sand Blasted").

Festering - An adaptable expletive (Children of the Jedi, Planet of Twilight).

Ferglutz - An interjection (Clone Wars Vol. 5).

Fierfek - Huttese for a "hex" or "curse"; mistakenly adopted as a curse word by the rest of the galaxy (Tales From Jabba's Palace).

Flaming - A derogatory modifier (The Han Solo Adventures).

Flanked - A disparaging adjective, as in, "Get these flanked smugglers hoofing, anyway" (Allegiance).

Floogy - A disparaging adjective, as in, "Floogy things take up way more room than they're worth" (Allegiance).

Flot - An insult, as in, "You useless flot!" (The Clone Wars: Slaves of the Republic).

Frack - An adaptable expletive (The Black Fleet Crisis: Shield of Lies). Note that this is an homage to the television program Battlestar Galactica.

Frag - An adaptable expletive (Wretched Hives of Scum and Villainy).

Frakkin - A derogatory modifier (Legacy Vol. 1: Broken).

Frappin' - A derogatory modifier (Luke Skywalker and the Shadows of Mindor).

Freg'd - A derogatory verb insinuating destruction, as in, "My moisture farm got freg'd to the ground!" (Galaxy Guide 11: Criminal Organizations).

Frell - A curse (Wizards of the Coast Web Site: The Living Force). Note that this is an homage to the Farscape sci-fi series where the term frell originally appeared.

Fripping - An adaptable expletive (Millennium Falcon novel).

Frizz - (Verb form: Frizzle). An adaptable expletive, it is commonly used as part of an exclamation or a derogatory modifier. (Dark Lord: The Rise of Darth Vader, Outbound Flight). See also Frizzle.

Frotz - A curse[?] (Wizards of the Coast Web site: Planet Hoppers).

Fusst - An exclamation, as in, "Oh, fusst!" (Allegiance).


HUTTESE INSULTS

Baay shfat - A curse, likely of Hutt origin, referring to an indeterminate and indelicate Hutt act (Republic Commando: Triple Zero).

Chuba - (Also sometimes spelled "Chubba"). Translating from Huttese as "You" or "Hey you," but also literally the Huttese name for an animal resembling a frog or toad, it is used as an insult and also a curse or exclamation, as in "What the chubba is going on?" (The Phantom Menace; Dark Nest: The Joiner King, The Unseen Queen).

E chu ta! - An insult (The Empire Strikes Back, Legacy Vol. 3).

Grancha - A curse (Legacy Vol. 2: Shards).

Koochoo - Huttese for idiot (Galactic Phrase Book & Travel Guide).

Kung - An insult (or compliment) translating as scum (Return of the Jedi), as in U kulle rah doe kankee kung: You are my kind of scum.

Peedunky - An insult, translating loosely as punk (The Phantom Menace).

Poodoo - Huttese for excrement (The Phantom Menace). Oddly, this term also translates from Huttese to Basic as "fodder," as in "You might have been a good smuggler, but now you're just Bantha fodder!" (Return of the Jedi).

Shag - An insult, translating as slave (The Phantom Menace).

Skocha - An insult (Legacy Vol. 3).

Sleemo - An insult, translating as slimeball (The Phantom Menace).

Stoopa - Huttese for a fool or fools (Galactic Phrase Book & Travel Guide, Legacy Vol. 2: Shards).


MANDALORIAN MALEDICTIONS

Chakaar - Literally meaning "thief" or "grave robber," but used as a general insult. Chakaare in plural form (Republic Commando: Triple Zero).

Dar'yaim - Literally Mandalorian for "not home," it is the equivalent of "hell" in some dialects ("Mandalorians: Culture and Language," Star Wars Insider #87).

Di'kut - Mandalorian for a fool. Di'kute in plural form; di'kutla in adjective form (Republic Commando: Hard contact, "Omega Squad: Targets" Insider #81).

Haar'chak - A Mandalorian insult (Legacy).

Haran - A derogatory term, literally translating as "cosmic annihilation," as in, "Our industrial infrastructure is still shot to haran after ten years" (Legacy of the Force: Sacrifice).

Hut'uun - Mandalorian for coward. Hut'uune in plural form; hut'uunla adjective form. (Republic Commando: Triple Zero).

Osik - Mandalorian for feces (Republic Commando: Triple Zero).

Osik'la - Something that is badly screwed up or disgusting, from the root osik (Republic Commando: Triple Zero). See also shabiir.

Osi'kyr - An exclamation (Legacy of the Force: Sacrifice).

Shab - An extremely harsh curse. More or less the Mandalorian equivalent of the "F" word, it is the root for several other Mandalorian insults, including the patronizing shab'ika (Legacy of the Force: Sacrifice, Legacy of the Force: Revelation).

Shabiir - To badly screw up, from the root shab (Republic Commando: Triple Zero).

Shabla - A derogatory modifier, from the root shab (Republic Commando: Triple Zero).

Shabu'droten - A curse, from the root shab, roughly translating as, "F***ing people" (Republic Commando: Triple Zero).

Shabuir - A harsh insult, from the root shab (Legacy of the Force: Sacrifice).

Shebs - Mandalorian for one's posterior. Shebse in plural form (Republic Commando: Hard Contact, Triple Zero).

Usenye - A very rude expression, from the same root as osik, meaning "go away" (Republic Commando: Triple Zero).


INDELICATE DROID ETIQUETTE

Bag of bolts - An insult directed at droids (Tales From Mos Eisley).

Bolt-board - A belittling term for a droid (The Despotica: Evocar).

Boltbrain - An insult geared toward automatons, as in, "Yee-haw! Boltbrain's good as scrap!" (Tales #4, "Sand Blasted").

Bucket of bolts - An insult directed directed toward machinery, including ships and droids, as in, "This bucket of bolts is never gonna get us past that blockade!" (The Empire Strikes Back, Star Wars: Republic Commando).

Bullethead - An insult in reference to droids (The Despotica: Xim at Vontor).

Carbon-scored - A derogatory modifier used among droids, as in, "You carbon-scored cry-baby!" (Marve Comics #31, "Doom Mission").

Chipbrain - An insult used by humans toward droids. Also, chips for brains (Dark Nest: The Swarm War, Legacy Vol. 2: Shards).

Chiphead - An insult directed toward droids (Legacy of the Force: Tempest).

Circuit-brain - An insult directed at droids (Dark Nest: The Joiner King).

Clanker - A derogatory term for a droid, especially the Separatist battle droids during the Clone Wars (The Clone Wars film). See also tinnie and tinhead.

Half-bot - An insult directed toward organic beings that have had some kind of cybernetic modification to their persons (The Despotica: Evocar).

Glitch-head - An insult used among droids (The Clone Wars: Act on Instinct).

Gonk - A droid curse, as in "Gonk me," derived from the sound a GNK droid makes (Clone Wars Adventures Vol. 7).

Meatbag - An insult popularized by the assassin droid HK-47 in reference to organic life forms (Knights of the Old Republic). Note that this is likely an homage to the character Bender, from the TV show Futurama, who used the term in a similar fashion.

Metal mouth - An insult often directed at verbose droids (Dark Nest: The Swarm War).

Motormouth - An insult often directed at verbose droids (Adventures in Hyperspace: Shinbone Showdown).

No-bit - An insult referring to a droid's processor, suggesting it is the robotic equivalent of brainless (The Despotica: Evocar).

Rustbucket - A pejorative droid description (Tales #4, "Sand Blasted").

Scrap-pile - An insult used among and directed at droids, as in "You'll be malfunctioning within a day you near-sighted scrap-pile!" (A New Hope).

Scrapheap - A general insult directed toward droids (The Clone Wars: Headgames).

Short-circuit - An insult directed toward droids, as in "You short-circuit!" (Dark Nest: The Joiner King). See also Circuit-brain.

Thank the Maker - An exclamation used among droids in reference to their manufacturer or builder (A New Hope).

Tinhead - A pejorative droid description (Tales #4, "Sand Blasted). See also tinnie.

Tinnie - A derogatory term for a droid, especially the Separatist battle droids during the Clone Wars (Republic Commando: Hard Contact). See also clanker and tinhead.


EWOK SNUB SNUBS

By cracked teeth and charred guts... - An oath of the Ewoks' cousin species, the Duloks (Ewoks: Shadows of Endor).

By the Spirit Tree - An Ewok exclamation (Ewoks, "The Haunted Village").

Dulok-brained - A derogatory Ewok expression comparing someone to their cousins (and enemies), the Duloks (Ewoks, "The Haunted Village"). See bantha brain, nerf-brained and ronto-brained.

Dustcrust - An insult, possibly of Ewok origin (Dark Nest: The Unseen Queen).

Katoog! - An Ewokese exclamation (Star Comics: Droids #4).

Kvark - Ewokese for the rough equivalent of "darn" (Star Wars: Ewoks).

Lurdo - An Ewokese term meaning jerk, dummy, etc. (The Ewok Adventure).

Woodrat - An insult, possibly referring to a creature within the forests of the Endor Moon (Ewoks: Battle for Endor). 


BY THE WHAT?

By the abyss - An exclamation (Clone Wars Vol. 6).

By the Core! - An exclamation (The Lando Calrissian Adventures).

By the Dark Lord - An exclamation of possible Sith or Jedi origin, who understood the gravity of invoking the title of such a being (Star Wars Annual #1).

By the Dawn Wind - An exclamation used among the aerial S'kytri, whose culture viewed the winds as sacred. By the Great Wind was another favored exclamation (Star Wars Annual #1).

By the Eternal - An exclamation (Star Wars Annual #1).

By the Force! - An exclamation (Marvel Comics #89).

By the Grand Protector - An exclamation, likely of Rodian origin (Starfighter: Crossbones #2).

By the Immortal Gods of the Sith - An exclamation of Sith origin (Star Wars #6).

By the ocean's hair - An exclamation originating from the aquatic Mere species (Starfighter: Crossbones #2).

By the Original Light - An exclamation (Han Solo at Stars' End).

By the red seas of Knores... A curse (The Politics of Contraband).

By the seven moons of Skärtis - An exclamation (Star Wars Annual #1).

By the stars - An exclamation, often accompanied by elaboration for empahsis, as in, By the pitiless stars and By the black stars (Classic Star Wars: A Long Time Ago... Vol. 1, Yoda: Dark Rendezvous).

By the Thousand Tides - An exclamation of Nautolan origin (The Cestus Deception).

By the Twi'lek Goddess - An exclamation (Tales of the Jedi audio drama).

By the White Dwarf of Rinn - An exclamation of Tintinna origin (The Despotica: Xim at Vontor).

By Tion's spleen - An exclamation referring to the ruler of the Tion Cluster (The Despotica: Evocar).


WHAT THE ...?

What in the Marches - An exclamation of Argai origin (The Despotica: The Pirate Prince).

What in the moons of Bogden... - An exclamation (Dark Lord: The Rise of Darth Vader).

What in the Nine Moons - An exclamation, possibly in reference to the number of satellites surrounding the planet of Tirahnn (Star Wars Annual #1).

What in the stinking fumes of Imperial Center garbage - A particularly labored interrogative precursor (likely employed very rarely) used during the time of the Galactic Empire to show extraordinary surprise, as in, "What in the stinking fumes of Imperial Center garbage was Vader doing here?" (Allegiance).

What in the three rings of Anstares... - A curse (The Politics of Contraband).

What in the worlds? - An exclamation (Outbound Flight, Allegiance).

What on Imperial Center - An interrogative precursor used during the time of the Galactic Empire, as in, "What on Imperial Center did you do that for?" (Allegiance).

What the brix - An exclamation (Outbound Flight).

What the garzal - An exclamation (Dark Nest: The Joiner King).

What the Hutt... - An exclamation (Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan: Aurorient Express, Dark Nest: The Swarm War).

What in the universe...? - An exclamation (The Clone Wars: Defenders of the Lost Temple).

What the vape - An exclamation (Clone Wars: Wild Space).

What the varp - An exclamation (Clone Wars: Wild Space).

Why in the six novas - An interrogative (Legacy of the Force: Inferno).


SON OF A WHO?

Schutta-spawn - An insult (Darth Bane: Rule of Two).

Son of a Bantha - Used as both an insult and a curse (The Politics of Contraband, Star Wars Insider #89 "Underworld: A Galaxy of Scum and Villainy").

Son-of-a-drabble - An insult (Allegiance).

Son of a gundark - A curse or insult (The Life and Legend of Obi-Wan Kenobi).

Son of a jumpin' ... - An exclamation (The Empire Strikes Back novelization).

Son-of-a-Kath-hound - An insult (Darth Bane: Path of Destruction).

Son of a monkey-lizard - An insult (Luke Skywalker and the Shadows of Mindor).

Son of a Murglak - An insult (Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords).

Son of a Pervickian dung camel - An insult (Luke Skywalker and the Shadows of Mindor).

Son of a ruskakk - An insult (Luke Skywalker and the Shadows of Mindor).

Son-of-a-Sith-harlot - An exclamation (Dark Nest: The Swarm War).

Son of a Sow - A Gamorrean curse (Planet of Twilight).

Spawn of a Space Slug - An insult; see space-slug (Domain of Evil).

Spawn of Nilgarian Worm - An insult ("Goatgrass: The Tale of Ree-Yees," Tales From Jabba's Palace).


SLIMY? MY HOME THIS IS!

Dung-hole - Insinuating a place is suitable as a fecal depository (Medstar: Battle Surgeons).

Rockball - A denigrating name for a barren or out of the way planet (Twin Stars of Kira).

Slimy mudhole - A derogatory appellative for a muddy or swamp-like world (The Empire Strikes Back).


COMMON EARTH CURSES FROM THE FILMS

I'll see you in hell! - An exclamation (The Empire Strikes Back).

Scum - An insult, as in "You Rebel scum!" (Return of the Jedi).

What in the blazes... - An exclamation (Star Wars Annual #1, Attack of the Clones).


YUUZHAN VONG INVECTIVE

Gods-cursed - A derogatory modifier (Dark Tide I: Onslaught).

Kane a bar - An insult, translating from the Yuuzhan Vong language as "dung of a meat maggot" (Star by Star, New Jedi Order Sourcebook). Note that this is a play on a Yuuzhan Vong word denoting status in the social hierarchy, Kanabar which means "Fellow low-caste person."

Khapet - A curse (The Final Prophecy).

Lungworm - An insult, referring to a class of Yuuzhan Vong annelid that could be worn and used as an oxygen source in environments ill-suited to sustain humanoid life (New Jedi Order: Edge of Victory II -- Rebirth, Legacy of the Force: Tempest).

Puul - A curse (Edge of Victory: Conquest).

Stink-beetle - A bug of Yuuzhan Vong origin, presumably having an objectionable odor; an insult, insinuating the ownership of said characteristics (The Unifying Force, Legacy Vol. 2: Shards).

Tsup - An insult, translating loosely as a wicked slave (Edge of Victory: Rebirth).

Vhlor - Used as an insult, it is the name of a filthy Yuuzhan Vong animal (Edge of Victory: Rebirth).

Vong - A grave insult among the pious Yuuzhan Vong when used alone, with connotations that an individual is godless or barbaric (Edge of Victory: Conquest).

Whelp of a machine - A grave insult implying that someone is the offspring of a non-living thing (Dark Tide I: Onslaught).

Yadaj dakl, ignot! - A venomous curse (New Jedi Order Sourcebook).

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Got anymore? E-mail 'em to abelgpena@gmail.com with the name of the source.

Contributors: Doug Allord, Angel, Sturm Antilles, "Princess Artemis," Curtis Bateman, Mike Beidler, JF Boivin, Noel C., Leland Chee (a.k.a. Tasty Taste), Bruce Clark, Mike Cooper, "CryHavok," "Som Davarya," Joe Dvorak, "Tam Elgrin," Ed Erdelac, "Eyrezer," "FAN4YRS," "ferumfierfek," Eddie van der Heijden, Daphne Hiew, "Tresk Im'nel," "Jonodrake," "jSarek," "katzcrawford," "Kaxs," Valin Kenobi, Ryan Kunz, Michael C. Leone, "Lukasavage," Gareth Marsh, "Pol' McEwok," James "JMM" McFadden, "Mike," "myopi," "Trak Nar, the Ramblin' Rodian," Alex Newborn, "Nex: the T is Hott!!," Tracey Perry, "Jaymach Ral'Tir," Eric M. Snyder, Michael "Spell" Spellacy, "General Tarfful," "Twineball," Luke Van Horn, Tim Veekhoven, Kat Wenger, Peter Whiting, Ari Z., Wanda Zolev, Zetta Zofia, Xander, More Forthcoming

Friday, January 3, 2014

Lies of the Jedi Masters



Well, we all know that besides the Emperor, Obi-Wan's got the reputation of biggest liar in Star Wars. But who's really the bigger liar, Obi-Wan or Yoda?


It all goes back to 1983 and that fateful little scene in Return of the Jedi in which Luke and Obi-Wan's ghost do a little catching up. "Why didn't you tell me?" Luke's cross-examination begins. "You told me Vader betrayed and murdered my father."

Luke, of course, is talking about Old Ben's original statement to him in A New Hope: "A young Jedi named Darth Vader, who was a pupil of mine until he turned to evil, helped the Empire hunt down and destroy the Jedi Knights. He betrayed and murdered your father."

Obi-Wan's defense in Return of the Jedi? "Your father was seduced by the dark side of the Force. He ceased to be Anakin Skywalker and became Darth Vader. When that happened, the good man who was your father was destroyed. So what I told you was true ... from a certain point of view."

Lots of people cried foul on that one. But Obi-Wan really put himself under the bus more recently (at least, from our point of view) with this doozy to Luke's father Anakin, from Revenge of the Sith:

"Only a Sith deals in absolutes!"

Criticism for this Jedi gem mounted quickly, not only because it's a rhetorical trap (the word "only" condemns Obi-Wan's statement itself as an absolute), but because it seems to directly contradict the wisest Jedi Master of em all, in particular Yoda's black and white lesson from The Empire Strikes Back:

"Do or do not," he tells Luke. "There is no try."

Ah, those vaunted, inspirational, uncompromising words.

But hold on a minute. Don't be so quick to put the little green supercentenarian on a pedestal. After all, ain't this the same Jedi Master who purposely deceived Luke upon meeting him, pretending to be dumber than Jar Jar and not the astute warrior Yoda?

Oh, but Yoda's, like, the superest, wisest, most powerfulest Jedi of them all. He gets to do that. Cuz he knows what's right.

Maybe.

But isn't this the same individual who told Luke that fear, anger, and aggression were part of the dark side? Indeed. Yet, isn't this the same Jedi Master who sent chills down our spines when he earlier promised Luke that the boy would know fear in his training under him?

Let me refresh your memory. From The Empire Strikes Back:

"I won't fail you," Luke says. "I'm not afraid."

"Oh, you will be," Yoda replies ominously. "You will be...."


And how about this bit of Yoda wisdom, also from Empire:

"If once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny. Consume you it will, as it did Obi-Wan's apprentice."

That would be Anakin Skywalker, right Yoda? The guy who became Darth Vader for twenty-odd years, then turned back to the good side by sacrificing his life to kill the evil Emperor and save his son from certain death. That's the example of someone forever consumed by evil you're talking about, right?

Note that Yoda apparently considered this view of the dark side so important, he actually repeats it to Luke again in Return of the Jedi, and this time from his death bed, no less:

"Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny."

That's a long, long time that "forever." You might even say it's ... absolute.

Now, I know--Yoda couldn't have known that Vader was going to trump the dark side. Difficult to see is the future, right little guy? That's right. Here, take this shiny, little flashlight ... there's a good Jedi Master.

Now for a frightening, irrevocable thought: the chronicled advice of the Jedi Masters, the superheroes of Star Wars, is not fool-proof. We cannot take their words at face value, or at least, we cannot be so naïve as to think we can convert their words into hard and fast rules--that is, into absolutes. If we postulate the infallibility of the Jedi Masters (and there is ample reason not to), we have to at least confine their advice to the context in which they give it.

Only, what good is it to follow their advice then?

Well, that's just it. We're not meant to follow their advice. We're meant to understand the lesson they were trying to convey at the time they spoke--that is, the meaning of what they were, yes, trying to say.

So in Empire, it's not, "Do or do not. There is no try." It's, "Do or do not. This time, there is no try, Luke, because you have to learn not to be such a wuss and give up so easily!"

And "Only a Sith deals in absolutes" does not mean that Jedi don't also make absolute statements, but that, "Only a Sith deals in absolutes hastily drawn while in a state of anger, despair, and selfishness."

Oh, you mean I have to interpret this stuff, now? Well, F all that. That's too hard.

Well, that is why you fail, eh?

So Jedi lie, Jedi deceive, and Jedi misjudge, is that it? Well, hold on a minute. It's not that simple. Let's say that Jedi Masters contradict themselves. Is that so wrong?


According to legend, a sneaky trick for helping Buddhists attain enlightenment is said to be to reply to a Nirvana-seeker's question with nonsense; in trying to make sense of the answer, the questioner creates a mind-expanding analogy or bridge between two unrelated concepts, thereby clinching Bliss. Alternately, let's take a look at The Guide of the Perplexed by Maimonides, the preeminent Jewish thinker of the Middle Ages, which reveals that deception may be a fundamental tool of the sage for helping pupils to reach a greater state of understanding:

"Contradictions or inconsistencies may be found in a book through any one of seven causes.... The fifth cause is the exigencies of method in teaching and explaining. It may happen that an involved and abstruse point has to be mentioned by way of introduction to the treatment of an easily understood subject which is quite properly discussed before that other one, because one should always proceed from the easier to the more difficult. The teacher must then rely on some superficial and crude method of explaining the point in question, without trying to expound it in full, and leave it to the imagination of his audience to understand of it what must be understood for the present. In the proper place he can then treat that more involved matter in full and bring out its true meaning."


In plain English, that means that sometimes your Padawans aren't yet smart enough or experienced enough to absorb certain facts. So, you tell em the half of the truth they are ready to accept, letting it seep in so that they start deriving the logical conclusions from that fact themselves, thus helping them to prepare themselves for the second half of the truth.

Sounds tricky, we say.

Indeed it is. Nobody ever said being a Jedi Master was easy. Just ask Obi-Wan.

Here's another one from good ol' Maimonides:

"The vulgar [that's you and me--ed., Abel] must however not be allowed under any circumstances to become aware of the contradiction of these premises, and the author [that's Maimonides--ed., Abel] will therefore at times adopt every possible means to camouflage it."

You mean, he's saying our teachers should hide things from us? Oh, the humanity! Oh, the disillusionment!

Now, remember in Return of the Jedi how Luke calls out Yoda for hiding the fact that Vader is his father?

"Is Darth Vader my father?" Luke asks.

"Your father he is," Yoda admits. Then, "Unexpected this is, and unfortunate."

"Unfortunate that I know the truth?" Luke yells.

"No," Yoda says. That part's fine, actually ... because Luke's old enough to know camouflage and half-truths are the name of wisdom's game.

We can now return to the most notorious lie of the Jedi Masters. Again, from Return of the Jedi:

"So, what I told you was true, from a certain point of view..." Obi-Wan says. "Luke you will find that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view."

Among Return of the Jedi's many towering lessons, and as the culmination of the Star Wars saga there are many, this is one we should make light of at our moral peril, unpalatable though it is. It is, at last, the confession of inevitable human agency. As Obi-Wan now unpacks his original statement about absolutes, laying it plain in all its ugly glory, a Jedi Master admits to his pupil what Maimonides does: that if the circumstances call for it, in a Jedi Master's best judgment, he will lie to you. Lie to you! It's the most fundamental form of betrayal.

Now our confidence in the Jedi must disintegrate ... save that here is a Jedi Master, appointed guardian of peace and justice, not only admitting his dishonesty, but explaining it--almost like another lesson. There's something extraordinary in this, almost overwhelming, in its pitiful and contrary nature. How can we ever believe Old Ben again, or rather, how can we ever trust him again, anything he ever said, this deceptive, fallible man? How can we ever trust anyone again--anyone except ourselves? Anyone except myself....

Now we've taken the second painful step into that inconceivably large, sometimes lonely world. ~ Abel "Gautama" Peña